England versus Holland in a friendly international, in Holland.
What an excuse for a couple of days away from work! Especially when the England
fans' management have decided that purchase of a ticket counts as a 'loyalty
cap' towards tickets to be allocated in the Japan/South Korea World Cup this
summer... fantastic!
So anyway, after a week in Tenerife soaking up the sun, pints of Dorada,
carnival and local ladies it was into Birmingham Airport to be met like a
celebrity at the arrivals lounge by Lee, R-Kid and Dolby. Then into the
Departure Lounge for a swift one prior to leaving for Amsterdam... Or as
my linguistic skills pointed out... Emshterdem!
PK, R-Kid, Dolby and Lee Satchell
Upon arrival, off to the hotel on Fondlestraat (Fondle Street?), then a
taxi within 5 minutes into the red light district and a quaint little snug
called Teasers
on the main route from Dam Square and the Central Railway station. Got drunk
and came back to the hotel...
The following day was match day. R-Kid and I (PK) had breakfast and walked
the 1½ miles to Dam Square to get our bearings in daylight... Lee
and Dolby stayed in bed!
When we got our arses in gear it was a walk back to Dam square, and a traditional
Dutch lunch of Whopper with Fries and Double Bacon Cheeseburger... plus I
had to buy a kids' meal to get the 'Frodo' action figure from the film of
the year, 'Lord Of The Rings'.
Then, would you believe it, we met up with Mark (and others) from Oxford
Utd and went to... well, you've guessed it
Teasers
. Luckily, having learnt from the previous night, I took my camera... it
almost became the ex-Liverpool international, Titty Camera...
We got a slack handful of seats around a table and pegged the Leamington
F.C. St. George's Flag up against a wall.
Pride Of Warwickshire
Then, using my manly charms, I convinced our waitress to pose in front
of the flag. Lovely girl, more of her later...
Yaela, our waitress
She obviously told her friends about the cute, shexy English guysh sitting
in the corner, so another waitress joined us, only to be molested by some
specky drunk who I went on the Munich trip with.
Lee Satchell and Dolby getting drunk
I even convinced the lovely bar manager to join us. She was a very busy
young lady, moving cash about and organising the girls. Don't know her name...
Lee Satchell, Dolby and the Bar Manager
Then we were momentarily distracted by the lovely Mariska, table-dancing
at the other end of the bar. Unfortunately, my camera isn't that good,
so I waited until she had finished and seduced her over to our table.
R-Kid, Lee Satchell, Mariska and Dolby
Marika even answered a question posed in her native Dutch about philosophical
matters of the heart... or, "Would you like to go halves on a b*st*rd!?"
Lee, while pondering her reply, is examining her breasts and Dolby just
doesn't understand the question.
The Dutch front two look tasty, Lee
After understanding the question, the wonderful Mariska danced in front
of the flag. Apologies for the lighting, but it was quite noisy by then!?
Dance, baby, dance
Just then I was posed a question by the lovely Yaela:
"Why are you not in any of the photos? You are so manly and shuper shexy,
are you a film shtar, a model or an athlete?"
"Alas not," I replied. But she gave me a big (sympathy) hug and I rapidly
got R-Kid to capture the Kodak Moment.
Mother, I've met the girl I'm going to marry
Then the little t*rt (no offence, love is so hurtful!) jumped on Lee
as we were about to leave for the game and I snapped his picture.
Hope the bread knife doesn't see this, Lee
The place was starting to fill up by now, with well-dressed, well-built
Dutch blokes with short hair. They weren't drinking either... Police or hooligans?
We didn't stay to find out, we left for the game...
And, to prove we went to the actual match, a picture just prior to kick-off
in the Amsterdam Arena:
Lee Satchell, Mark (from Oxford) and R-Kid
There are a couple of other photos with the Flag but they're on the next
roll of film which I haven't developed yet. Watch this space...
Sigh, all this reminds me of the England v Greece game last June and postcards
from Athens. Stand by for postcards from Japan. Hurrah!
